1. I still love you and will treat you with the utmost respect even if we disagree.
2. Your opinion on the my parenting of my child really doesn't matter to me.
OK, now that we have that out of the way, here are my thoughts on this issue:
Recently, my daughter's preschool held a graduation ceremony for her class. Yes, preschool graduation. There was a big ceremony planned at night and we were all strongly encouraged to be there for this prolific, life changing event (if you can sense the sarcasm, you are reading this correctly). We did not attend. Wait, what? Yes, you heard me correctly, we did not attend.
Now before you start to tell me that we are "not there" for her and "she is missing such a critical piece of her life", let me remind you that every single child that just attended the required number of days, graduated (I use that term loosely). So in reality, if anyone should have received a certificate or recognition, it should be my wife. She is the one that gets up every school morning and fights with a bird's nest of hair while my daughter refuses to be still, ensures she eats some sort of breakfast (usually takes an hour for the slowest eater on the planet), and puts together a specific set of clothes that are both presentable, but durable for the craziness that takes place on the playground. All this while taking time to nurse our other daughter, put in a load of clothes to finish when she returns, plans dinner, picks up the house, and prevent her husband from walking out of the house with mix matched socks. Yes, the reason the attendance actually occurs is because of her.
And while we are at it, lets talk about the other so called "graduations". After preschool, there is one for kindergarten, 5th grade, junior high, and finally high school. When I was growing up, we just called it "the next grade". When did we have to recognize something that is expected? I mean, you almost want to recognize the ones that didn't finish, because honestly, it would take more effort to mess it up. You would have to try really really hard to not get past preschool. As long as you are turning another year old, you basically qualify for kindergarten.
But I guess this is par for the course in our current world of participation trophies and entitlement. When kids get to the point of completing high school, which in fact is a major accomplishment, it really isn't a big deal by then. And they really don't have to worry about that part either. Because if a large group fails to accomplish that, it is the teacher's fault. Not the lazy kid or the parents that forgot to tell them they had to work for something. No, the teacher's are told they need to alter the curriculum and grading scales to make sure the majority graduate despite their actual progress (which is why people speak in text lingo now instead of proper English).
My non-politically correct opinion is this is one more stage in the "Sissyfication" of American culture. We celebrate mediocrity and are labeled hateful or mean if we don't let everyone know they are special. Now, my parents taught me I could do anything if I worked hard for it, but important part of that statement is the WORK that I have to do. It wouldn't happen if I just showed up, or if I just turned a certain age. I had to do more than the next guy to really be "special". It didn't mean they felt I wasn't special, just that I was responsible for making it become a reality. I never got a pat on the back for potential. Only action. And even if the action didn't turn out exactly as it should, they celebrated the work and then taught me the lessons of the failure.
This doesn't mean I will never attend a "graduation" ceremony in the future for my kids. Nor, do I think other parents that attend are wrong. It just means I will ensure there is proper perspective taught to my kids as soon as the songs and claps are over. My daughter IS unique and she IS special to me, but she is also just 4 years old. Before I crown her America's greatest child that deserves more than any other kid, lets see if I can get her to eat her oatmeal in under a half hour first.
What if we all started directing the recognition to the ones that really deserve it? Imagine our kids visually seeing dad thanking mom for the hard work they do keeping the family moving? Or seeing mom thanking dad for coming home exhausted and still putting all their attention into their families instead of the TV or smart phone. What kind of lesson would they really learn? What if the parents spoke respectfully about the teachers who, despite a flawed system, still work tirelessly to teach our kids critical skills for life? Do you think kids might have a different view of adults then? Is there any negative that could come out of showing and teaching respect for people that do more than just show up or "participate"? Maybe, just maybe, they would see that true accomplishment is a marriage filled with love, or a career in service to others.
Guess I should say thank you for participating in my rant... Your trophy is in the mail.
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